Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sikhs marrying goras and vice versa?

I want to debate on this topic - Sikhs marrying goras and goras marrying Sikhs?

Can it be successful and how to find the golden middle? How to keep religion alive? How and where to marry? How not to loose identity of who you are?

If you are a Sikh and you reading my blog, please answer this question. Would you marry someone outside your religion? Would you parents approve of non-sikh partner?

12 comments:

marcinat said...

Your question doesn't really make sense to me...maybe I am ignorant, but I thought gora meant someone of Caucasian descent. Ethnicity is completely different from religion - there are "white Sikhs" and "brown Catholics". Thus if you are asking whether Sikhs should marry goras/vice versa, you need to specify if the "perceived problem" some people might have is the race or the religion?

From my limited knowledge, I always thought that Sikh marriage involved the husband and wife merging to unite and become closer as a unit to God. It is much easier to do this when two people are on the same spiritual path - that is, both want to become jeevn mukt, share the same beliefs/values systems, etc. At the same time, Sikhi preaches that there are many paths (i.e. religions) to reach Waheguru (who has different names under the different religions). Thus if both partners agree to support each other on their spiritual journeys, I don't see what the problem is.

Practically, from my own experience, "mixed marriages" can lead to problems. Which religion are the children brought up with? What setting are the couple married in to satisfy the desires of the couple's parents? Often, especially with interracial marriages, society can act very harshly to all members of all the families involved. However, if both husband and wife are committed to their spiritual development and to each other, such small obstacles could definitely be overcome.

These are just my musings, look forward to what others have to say!

Annu K said...

Well, I suppose you could categorise me as gora (or gori) sikh..My story is similar to that of many other girls out there, in that I married a gursikh. When we got married nearly 5 years ago, it was clear for us that we would follow the sikh path and would bring up our future children as sikhs. Over the years, I have learned more about sikhi and I chose to start wearing turban a year ago. I am not yet an amritdhari, but I am working towards the goal of one day taking amrit. Me and my partner's union has been strong over the years, and many relatives who used to say we would end up breaking up have had to shut their mouths.
We still get a lot of people staring at uswhen we go out, but since I started wearing a turban I feel people have come to accept us as a couple more than before. I am very proud to follow sikh path and thank God everyday for giving me such a fantastic life partner. In our case, different backgrounds made little difference- our personalities just seem to fit together so well!

Moonstruck Mommy said...

Hi! I'm not Sikh, but my husband is. I have been studying it quite intensely so I can teach our children. (hubbs is good for nothing!) I think it is possible, but not easy. His family has made things, erm, difficult to say the least. As long as both people are willing to put the work in, agree on how to raise the children, and not blame each other for people's ignorance, relationships can be awesome.

Dana and Co said...

Thanks to Marcinat, Annu K and Moonstruck Mommy for your comments.

The reason I started this post is because I really want to know peoples opinions...
I'm thankful for your opinions...

Don't want to generalise people but mixed race couples need to got through many difficult things...
Usually it's a Sikh side (parents/relatives) who are against their sons and daughters marrying goras...

You might not agree with me and you have a rights for that...

Moonstruck Mommy said...

I don't know about anyone else, but that is how it is for us. My parents could care less who I marry, but his parents did not feel the same. They are nice now that we have children, but I have some great mother in law stories! LOL For his family it was race more then religion, but both played a part. I think they accept me more now that they see how important it is to me that my children know their culture. Extended family and family friends haven't all come around yet though. Soon I'm hoping!

Dana and Co said...

I believe we (non-Sikh) should be given a fair chance to prove that we can be in the relationship with a Sikh...

Personally I had to prove to few people that I'm serious about my relationship... and I've done it!

Few people were looking for my advice on how to win hearts of parents-in-law/ family of Sikh girlfriend/boyfriend... What can I say? There is no universal answer.

To Moonstruck Mommy - Do you have your own blog? Would love to read it!

Anonymous said...

The important answer :)

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Elizabeth Gill said...

Sats-sri-akaal . . .I am an American Gori married to a Sikh Punjabi Munda . . . I met my husband here in the US through my boss . . . His parents are in India and they haven't a clue that he has married me . . . they actually do not know that I exist on this earth . . . which concerns me a great deal because I feel like this marriage from his side may have have been for the wrong reasons . . . I helped sponsor him with his Green Card here in the US because I wanted him to stay . . . The reason that I am having some doubts now is because his whole demeanor changed after he gained residency . . . I love him dearly and want to share my life with him though I know that his parents may never accept me because I come from a completely different background . . . I was hoping that someone would kindly give some insight regarding this matter . . .Namaste . . .

Dana Singh said...

SSA Elizabeth,
Thanks for your question. Please visit newtosikhi.com. This is my forum and I think you can get your answer there in a privacy.

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